Uncle Jack
Dec 18, 20244 min read
The Drones Are Bullcrap
The mainstream media is lying to us again and the amateur stargazers are too busy eating tofu hotdogs to see the truth.
Matt Talmage
Jul 15, 20242 min read
Frogs in Boiling Water
Saturday night doom scroll. Frogs being slowly brought to boil in a fetid witch’s brew. Eye of newt. Wool of frog. Ear of president.
Matt Talmage
Jul 1, 20241 min read
What Democrats Should Do Now
After a disastrous debate and a startling Supreme Court ruling, the DNC is searching for answers. Here is what their game plan should be.
Matt Talmage
Jun 26, 20244 min read
The Case Against: Waterparks
Don't forget to bring a towel, sunblock, and a Tetanus shot.
Matt Talmage
Jun 10, 20241 min read
13 Worst Foods to Eat on the Toilet
All that farting and straining worked up an appetite? As you turtle walk your way to the pantry, be sure to avoid these forbidden foods.
Matt Talmage
Jun 6, 20243 min read
Imodium Presents: Loose Lunch
Our sponsored segment dives into the treacherous terrain of tummy-tumbling treats, colon-quaking courses, and diarrhea-inducing delicacies.
Kirk McCready
May 16, 20242 min read
Bumper Stickers
You are what you eat. Maybe don't eat shit.
Matt Talmage
Apr 17, 20243 min read
The Case Against: Aquafina
A beverage so revolting that if you came across it while lost in the desert, you’d rather take your chances raw-dogging a cactus.
Uncle Jack
Apr 8, 20244 min read
The Eclipse is Bullcrap
The mainstream media is lying to us again and the woke left is drinking it up like organic kombucha.
Space Ghost
Apr 3, 20242 min read
10 Ways To Fix The DJ Problem
The always topical Space Ghost has been lured out of his retirement with the promise of a Wawa platinum card.
Matt Talmage
Mar 21, 20241 min read
How to Be a Douche
The unabridged guide to douchebaggery.
Matt Talmage
Jan 26, 20241 min read
13 Best Zoo Animals
Looking for a wild adventure? Don't miss these must-see claustrophobic enclosures on your next trip to the zoo.
Matt Talmage
Jan 24, 20244 min read
Ill Eats: A 6-Pack of Awesome
Our esteemed food and wine editors handpick the gourmet canned cocktails and hard seltzers they are loving lately.
Owen Wislon
Jan 8, 20244 min read
Oh Wow: The Terror of Cosmic Insignificance
What is the universe without purpose?
Matt Talmage
Jan 5, 20244 min read
New Year, New You
10 tips for a more productive and less anxious 2024.