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Matt Talmage
- Jul 15
- 2 min
Frogs in Boiling Water
Saturday night doom scroll. Frogs being slowly brought to boil in a fetid witch’s brew. Eye of newt. Wool of frog. Ear of president.
Matt Talmage
- Jul 1
- 1 min
What Democrats Should Do Now
After a disastrous debate and a startling Supreme Court ruling, the DNC is searching for answers. Here is what their game plan should be.
Matt Talmage
- Jun 26
- 4 min
The Case Against: Waterparks
Don't forget to bring a towel, sunblock, and a Tetanus shot.
Matt Talmage
- Jun 10
- 1 min
13 Worst Foods to Eat on the Toilet
All that farting and straining worked up an appetite? As you turtle walk your way to the pantry, be sure to avoid these forbidden foods.
Matt Talmage
- Jun 6
- 3 min
Imodium Presents: Loose Lunch
Our sponsored segment dives into the treacherous terrain of tummy-tumbling treats, colon-quaking courses, and diarrhea-inducing delicacies.
Kirk McCready
- May 16
- 2 min
Bumper Stickers
You are what you eat. Maybe don't eat shit.
Matt Talmage
- Apr 17
- 3 min
The Case Against: Aquafina
A beverage so revolting that if you came across it while lost in the desert, you’d rather take your chances raw-dogging a cactus.
Uncle Jack
- Apr 8
- 4 min
The Eclipse is Bullcrap
The mainstream media is lying to us again and the woke left is drinking it up like organic kombucha.
Space Ghost
- Apr 3
- 2 min
10 Ways To Fix The DJ Problem
The always topical Space Ghost has been lured out of his retirement with the promise of a Wawa platinum card.
Matt Talmage
- Mar 21
- 1 min
How to Be a Douche
The unabridged guide to douchebaggery.
Matt Talmage
- Jan 26
- 1 min
13 Best Zoo Animals
Looking for a wild adventure? Don't miss these must-see claustrophobic enclosures on your next trip to the zoo.
Matt Talmage
- Jan 24
- 4 min
Ill Eats: A 6-Pack of Awesome
Our esteemed food and wine editors handpick the gourmet canned cocktails and hard seltzers they are loving lately.
Owen Wislon
- Jan 8
- 4 min
Oh Wow: The Terror of Cosmic Insignificance
What is the universe without purpose?
Matt Talmage
- Jan 5
- 4 min
New Year, New You
10 tips for a more productive and less anxious 2024.
Kirk McCready
- Dec 13, 2023
- 6 min
In My Humble Opinion: The Layover
A perfect example of a good movie that never stood a chance. For shame!