The Baseball Odyssey

Volume 5 - 08.07.24

Come along for our weekly journey into the endless domain that is Baseball. I'll be covering the Good, the Bad, and the Weird of America's oldest professional sport. I'll also dive into any other subject that rears its head along the way.

I'm no hero. I'm typing over my keyboard after a weekend of golf and gambling with my college 'friends' in Atlantic City. Sweat is pouring down my body and I'm wracked with chills but again, I'm not a hero.

Also the Phillies are dead.

On to week 5 of our coverage.

We love Baseball but there are too many teams playing too many games during the week and too many divisions to constantly track. During the regular season we'll be taking a page from 'Soccer' and sorting through the junk to take a weekly look at a few games at the top, middle, and bottom of The Table. All 30 teams ranked with the best at the top, mediocre in the middle, and dog shit at the bottom make up the full table.

Let's take a look at last weeks notable matchups.

TOP OF THE TABLE

The New York Yankees (8) vs. The Toronto Blue Jays (3) (8/3)

Unfortunately for me, The Yankees have continued on their tear after sweeping the Phillies in a two game series. Aaron Judge is a cheat code. He is the new Barry Bonds and is starting to draw as many intentional walks as not.

Boo this man!

Judge collected 2 Runs, 2 Hits, 2 Walks, 2 RBI's and 1 sad, pathetic Home Run.

To add insult to injury my friend Austin who I lost the Phils/Yanks series bet to keeps Venmo requesting me with "Where's my fucking booze you Philly scumbag".

It's quite rude and I've sent screen shots to his mom.

The Yankees took 2 of 3 from the Jays and are 7-3 in their last 10.

The Cleveland Guardians (5) vs. The Baltimore Orioles (9) (8/4)

This series between two teams at the top of The Table lived up to they hype with an even split 2-2.

My biggest takeaway in watching 10 minutes of highlights alongside 8 minutes of adds was that Umps really do suck. Also adds. But mostly here that Umpires have so much influence over a game where every strike or ball matters. The inconsistent strike zones are infuriating to watch, and guess what bud? That's only worse with the 8K cameras showing every mistake on repeat.

Get automatic calls in there, get the robots in there for real. You can still have a guy back there for performative purposes, but, solely for performative purposes. They just relay the call the robot calls in. Ideally, these folks should bring a certain type of energy:

The L.A. Dodgers (5) vs. The Philadelphia Phillies (3) (8/5)

While it's true the Philadelphia Phillies continue their downslide into a heaping pile of shit, there is some comfort. That comfort comes from knowing at it's heart it's just a game.

This struck home as The Dodgers welcomed back first baseman Freddie Freeman back into the rotation after his sons diagnosis and subsequent fight with Guillain-Barré syndrome was revealed to the world.

After a real scare, thankfully it appears his son will pull through this. As a Dad myself, I was shedding some tears reading about it and can't even imagine it. No matter how shitty a day you may be having, the prospect of your kids health at risk will snap you out of it.

While the Phillies lost last night it doesn't really matter. Baseball is perhaps the greatest sport with the true tradition of taking your kids to games, building new memories, and watching the game itself is really about sitting in the seat next to someone you love more than anything.

The Dodgers are up 1-0 in the series with two left to play (and a 10:10 start as of this writing).

MIDDLE OF THE TABLE

The Texas Rangers (4) vs. The Houston Astros (3) (8/5)

It's a always a good day when that pack of cheaters from Houston loses. It's always a great day when they lose in a walk off.

While it's certainly been a season to mostly forget for the defending champions, this must have felt good. And with two months left to play and with them hovering near .500, maybe a bit of magic is coming their way.

The Astros in the meantime continue their karmic journey of pain and humiliation.

Fun!

The series is currently tied 1-1.

The Pittsburg Pirates (8) vs. The Arizona Diamondbacks (9) (8/2)

I'm rooting for the Pirates, to a small degree, because they have the scrappy upstart feel of a team going against the odds. I know how to pick them and it's always great when you can rub it in someone's face "Well actually I knew they were on track since the 2019 draft". Smells like pure bullshit and oh boy does it smell good.

Unfortunately for them on this night the Dbacks blew the barn doors off in the first inning and the Pirates could never fully recover.

The Pirates dropped 2 of 3 to the Dbacks.

The St. Louis Cardinals (0) vs. The New York Mets (6) (8/5)

The Mets handled their business for a makeup game against the Cardinals. Starting Pitcher Sean Manaea was spectacular throwing 7 complete innings, with 6 hits, no earned runs, and 10 strikeouts.

Definitely not going to say anything bad about the Mets at this time. That's for sure.

Totally.

BOTTOM OF THE TABLE

The Oakland Athletics (5) vs. The White Sox (1) (8/5)

The White Sox have lost an AL record straight 21 games in a row. 21 games. They are only 2 losses in a row from tying the all time MLB record held by the 1961 [REDACTED].

While things are bleak Sox fans, everyone can do a little to pitch in. Maybe this song that got me through some tough times after facing constant rejection from the ladies will help. You're facing your own rejection after all. Just like I did. Again, and again, and again.

The White Sox are down 0-1 in the series with two to play but you could probably just say they lost the series 0-3.

The Anaheim Angels (1) vs. The New York Mets (5) (8/2)

Unfortunately for the always terrible, awful, the worst, manufacturing ways to lose Anaheim Angels their one piece of joy is officially out for the season.

The day after this stake was buried deep into the chest cavity of Angels fans it was no surprise they looked soulless and lost as the Mets cruised to victory behind a stellar start by Paul Blackburn. Acquired at the deadline by Oakland he dropped a chokehold on them.

It pains me to see the Mets succeed. Matt will be sufferable. Even more so than usual I mean.

The Angels would go on to take 2 of 3 from the Mets, ahaha fuck you Matt!

The Detroit Tigers (2) vs. The Kansas City Royals (3) (8/4)

Detroit still has a Baseball team. I only know this because of these two gentlemen.

Detroiters is an amazing show and is essentially the precursor of I Think You Should Leave

Besides that I know nothing else about the Tigers. Well, maybe one thing.

They don't have any chunky guys on their team. This is a serious lapse as all chunky guys are total glue guys. Their heaviest player is starting pitcher Brant Hunter at 250 lbs. and he doesn't count because he's 6'6''! If you're not at least 250 at that height you are definitely not a glue guy. Get it together Detroit.

Detroit lost the series 1-3.

I'm wrapping this up around midnight so a few teams records will have changed +1 or (-1).

Fights, good plays, weird shit. Drama.

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams, I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of a street lamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light, I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never shared

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools" said I, "You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

And the sign flashed out its warning

In the words that it was forming

Then the sign said, "The words on the prophets are written on the subway walls

In tenement halls"

And whispered in the sound of silence

Other sports are currently in the mix. Rip the lid off and compare the meat.

Football is almost upon us and the NFL recently made the correct decision on voting one of the most electric players, ever, into it's hall of fame.

Devin Hester, the longtime Chicago Bear and best return man of all time is in.

This man was so good his highlight reel for the Bears is nine minutes in length. Of just his returns. You can not watch this and not get goose bumps watching the pure domination. The Bears fans knew they had something special in Hester and hearing the crowd build and build after the ball was in his hands is truly awesome.

You can view the compilation on YouTube here.

Courtesy of espn.com

I'm not sure a return man will ever make it into the Hall of Fame again but maybe the new kick off rules coming into play this year will surprise us. I'm skeptical every year of every change the NFL attempts to put into place but maybe there will be unexpected results. I hope for us there will be as there's nothing quite like a kickoff return TD.

Stay a while and listen.

The news by in large, sucks.

"Hot take Kirk, dumbass"

But sometimes....it doesn't?

"....Go on"

I personally love reading cool shit about human ingenuity and constructively tackling a problem. I always say, incremental progress, that's the key. You can't fix all the shit but maybe you can a little.

Thammasat University in Bangkok is using traditional rice keeping methods to incorporate them into structures that, according to this article by Xiaoying You of the BCC, "protect from flooding, cool temperatures, and grows crops".

I recently was asked for advice by my friend Jake on how to manage a good employee that sometimes took time for nonwork activities in the office. Namely playing games for a few minutes, multiple times a day. He's a high performing employee so Jake didn't know how to approach it.

Be a leader Jake and give your employees the space they need to be successful. Don't smother their eggs.

I'm note quite sure the dreaded days of August will be all that different from what we've experienced here on the east coast the last month and a half. It's been hot as balls with temps regularly in the 90's. Curious.

I'm sure the players have loved dealing with this shit on a daily basis.

Next week we'll see if the Phillies can stop the bleeding or if Matt's once cursed Mets will be able to catch up and kill them like the wounded animal they are. They still have to outpace Atlanta but Atlanta doesn't scare me.

This thing does.

The Phillie Phanatic had no natural predator. Until now.

Thanks for reading this week and if you have any comments, questions, or recommendations in regards to this series, feel free to email me at kirk@illandodd.com and I'll be sure to get back to you and may include them as part of a mailbag section.