A tough week for the boys. Kirk gets cleaned out, Matt posts another modest loss, and we galaxy-brained our way out of a same game parlay bonus bet. Fun!
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to eat a well-done Applebee's steak.
Recap: Matt's Picks
$100.00 wagered $38.50 lost +$171.29 for the season
This was one of those weeks where I had to take a few deep breaths and walk around in the backyard for a while to avoid throwing the remote through my TV. It seemed like I had the right read on most of these games, but a few breaks just didn't go the right way — leading to a couple of rough beats.
Hopefully I got all of the bad vibes out of the way before the Thanksgiving slate, otherwise Uncle Jack might end up with a forehead full of cranberry sauce again.
Dolphins -12.5
Straight up ATS (-115)
I knew this was gonna be a rough one when this is how it started:
So that's six points taken off the board. Then the Dolphins basically played with their food for the next 50 minutes or so. Tyreek Hill briefly left the game. De'Von Achane re-injured himself and permanently left the game. And yet, we still had a chance to cover but the refs decided to blow a quick whistle for, I don't know, reasons?
This was certainly a tough beat. But I did take the Dolphins in my Survivor Pool, so that's a nice silver lining. We're down to 8 contestants remaining. Who should I take this week?
I don't have any of the Thanksgiving or Black Friday favorites available, and there are very few big spreads on Sunday. I've already used the Chiefs, so they are out.
The biggest favorites left on the board are: Titans -3.5 over the Panthers — I don't trust either of these two terrible teams, but NOBODY is going to take the Titans, so maybe a bit of game theory here?
Patriots -3.5 over the Giants — Neither of these teams have any interest in winning another game this season, so staying away from this one.
Eagles -3.5 over the Bills — This one is appealing, but the Eagles still have two more games against the Giants coming up. I'd love to be able to save them for that.
Ravens -3.5 over the Chargers — I think this is what I'm going with. But Lamar looked like he got banged up this past week, and what if he eats an undercooked turkey and gets food poisoning?
It's going to be a tough call. Wish me luck!
❌ Lost $34.50
Bears +7.5
Straight up ATS (-105)
The Bears absolutely took it to the Lions for the first 50 minutes or so of this one. Goof threw a bunch of picks and reminded us why he got run out of town by McVay and company. And then it very nearly all fell apart.
If the Lions had picked that up for a touchdown and the cover, there would have been one heck of a hole in my living room wall. Kind of like when Tom and Kirk body slammed each other through the drywall at our college apartment during Super Bowl XLIV and then "repaired" the damage by spackling over a flattened case of Keystone Light.
✅ Won $30.00
Broncos -2.5
Straight up ATS (-110)
Denver has now won four straight and put themselves back in the playoff hunt. Kind of? They are currently looking up at the Colts, Bills, and Steelers, but I'm not sure you can really trust any of those squads at the moment. The scramble for that 7-seed is going to dramatic and ugly. Much like the end of this game.
The god damn Broncos came back from the dead and scored a go-ahead touchdown late in the fourth quarter. Leading by 1, they smartly went for the two-point conversion. And predictably, because the line was 2.5, they failed. A gritty win for Russell Wilson and the boys, but a frustrating non-cover. The Broncos remaining schedule is:
vs. Browns
at Texans at Chargers
at Lions vs. Patriots
vs. Chargers
at Raiders
If they win both of those Chargers games, they could have a chance at 9-8. Pretty miraculous for a team that lost by 50 points earlier in the year.
❌ Lost $33.00
Moneyline Parlay (+1568)
Panthers
Cardinals
This was a dumb bet. Cardinals got a nice cover against Uncle Jack's suddenly-struggling CJ Stroud, but couldn't do enough to pull of the upset. The Panthers never really looked like they were going to outright win this one, but they did pull close to covering the 10.5 point spread midway through the 3rd quarter. Then Bryce Young fell apart and DaRon Bland pulled the Cowboys away with his FOURTH pick-six of the season.
Shit, the Cowboys might actually be good — something that Kirk and I can both agree is a terrible, terrible thing.
❌ Lost $1.00
Kirk's Picks
$145.25 wagered $145.25 lost -$643.51 for the season
Lions (-5.5)
1st Half Spread (-110)
Well guess what? Justin Fields did not look like he needed time warming up from his return from injury. And you know what else? This is the 1st time I bet a 1st half spread and it was almost refreshing to know the bet was lost for me before 2PM. I could definitely get used to this.
❌ Lost $100.00
Multigame Parlay Straight Up ATS +272
Los Angeles Chargers -3, Buffalo Bills -7
Why did I bet on Brandon Staley's team! Wtf was I thinking! Why did no one save me from myself like in all the movies and TV shows! This is your fault! Bastards!
❌ Lost $45.25
Bonus Picks
$100.00 wagered $100.00 lost +476.67 for the season
Crucial to remember here is that we are up almost $500 on the season with our bonus picks. That's a good # right? You're not really bitching are you? That would be selfish. This is the time of giving THANKS, REMEMBER THAT OKAY?
Same Game Parlay (+551)
Keaton Mitchell over 24.5 rushing yards ✅
Odell Beckham Jr. over 26.5 receiving yards ✅
Tyler Boyd over 24.5 receiving yards ✅
Under 46.5 total points ❌
Congrats to us, a couple of certified morons! It takes guts to take free money from a sports book and find out a way to mail it back to them and then find out your wallet was in the package as well.
Adding the under here against the wishes of an AI really was, as Matt put it:
Somehow Lamar ended up in the blue tent, Burrow's arm stopped working, the game was stopped multiple times because of drones flying over the stadium, and STILL the total went over. That's how powerful the McCready jinx has been this year.
❌ Lost $100.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!
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