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This is no longer a Jameis Winston fan site. It was a short, nauseating ride.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser has to drive to the State Diner in Ithaca, NY and eat a bowl of chicken and rice soup alone. Let's take a look at how we did this week!
Matt's Picks
$113.70 wagered $50.20 lost -$276.85 for the season
It was back to reality this week, losing half my stack on an ill-advised teaser. I really need to stop tying bets I really like (Ravens) to unrealistic outcomes (Chiefs blowout). You'd think after years of saying I should just bet five games straight up against the spread every week that I'd just start doing that and stop with all of the nonsense. But the nonsense is so much fun! But hey, our Bonus Bets are getting hot!
Rams (-1.5)
Straight up ATS (-110)
We needed overtime to come away with the victory in this one. It was an entertaining game between two teams who might not be very good, but at least aren't very bad. God, there are so many bad teams this year. And they aren't even the fun, frisky bad that occasionally pull off the upset. Favorites were 14-1 outright this weekend, with the lowly Saints being the only one to lose. It's a strange season at the halfway point, with only the Bills and Chiefs possessing more than a 2-game lead on their division.
Did the Rams we saw on Sunday have enough to make a push for the NFC West crown? They're going to have to hope that the 49ers don't get it together with the return of McCaffrey and that the suddenly electric Cardinals cool off as Kyler customarily runs out of gas late in the year.
✅ Won $30.00
6-Point Teaser Fuck the Haters (-120)
Bills ML ✅ Packers +8.5 ❌
Bills: This actually turned out to be a smart teaser leg. They didn't cover the full spread, but managed to squeak out a win. Things were looking so promising. I have to say, the Dolphins are definitely better than their two wins indicate now that they are healthy-ish. I still hate watching them though, mainly because I cringe and look away from the screen every time Tua scrambles. Somebody tell that guy to stop scrambling!
Packers: This was the complete opposite of how I saw this game unfolding. I thought the rain and messy conditions would slow the Detroit offense down. But in fact, they had no problem bashing the Packers brains in for the first forty or so minutes of this game. Jordan Love looked like the blank sheet of computer paper that Uncle Jack thinks he is and Jared Goff's tiny hands were able to maintain control of the ball throughout. The Lions are now 40-15 against the spread in their last 55 games (73%). Amazing.
Here's a text from Uncle Jack:
❌ Lost $72.00
Adjusted Line Blowout Parlay (+2066)
Ravens -20.5 ✅ Chiefs -20.5 ❌ / ✅
Ravens: I had this one sniffed out early in the week. It seemed to be a great spot for the Ravens and the 9-point line was begging you to take Denver. It made all the sense in the world to go the other way. I should have just had this as a standalone bet. I would have been calm for once. Instead, I chose to act like that guy who dropped an f-bomb on Jason Kelce (fuck around and find out).
Chiefs: Umm, yeah I'm dumb. The Chiefs never blow anyone out any more. Even at home against a team with zero wide receivers you've ever heard of. It took overtime for Mahomes and company to put the Bucs away and remain undefeated. They failed to cover the spread in the process... let alone winning by 3 touchdowns. The last time the Chiefs won by 3 touchdowns or more was on September 24, 2023 in the infamous "Taylor Swift Game" where they blew out the Bears 41-10.
❌ Lost $8.20
Kirk's Picks
$107.00 wagered $107.00 lost -$423.02 for the season
I don't have a lot of time tonight to write up what a sad sack I am as I have to catch a early flight to Chicago tomorrow for a business trip. Boy do I wish that gambling was illegal in Illinois to stop me from doing something so fucking stupid like trusting Jameis Winston's vibes and the, BROWNS.
Browns Money Line (+106)
As mentioned above, I am a moron and I trusted the moment. I didn't trust in fact, logic, history, anything but the moment. That's because I'm an empathetic guy at heart. I am drawn to positive emotion, real emotion. It's why I've cried at almost every movie I've watched with my kids over the past year. I am a decent, caring person.
Well fuck that!
From now on this season I have to be a cold emotionless asshole in order to not have to drive to God damned Ithaca New York. Or as New Yorkers call it, "The Yeti's Taint".
This abysmal game looked lopsided as hell with the Chargers winning 27-10 and being up 20-3 for seemingly forever, but it was not.
The Browns dominated time of possession and first downs. They had multiple drives die within the Chargers 20. My man Jameis saw to that with his atrocious ass throws.
And even when it was clear he didn't have it, nope, let's keep that pass train a moving and keep fucking flailing around in futility.
Here's a live look at me watching this game on my phone while 'parenting'.
A side note - I have now lost so, so, so much money in spite bets against the Harbutt brothers. I'm done. Niet. No more. They beat me. Check, check, check, all night he trap me. Mr. son of bitch.
❌ Lost $107.00
Bonus Bet
+$575.00 last week +$935.00 for the season
I think we might be hot? Hitting a +550 and a +575 in consecutive weeks has us rolling! With 9 weeks to go, we've guaranteed ourselves $35.00 profit even if we crap the bed for the rest of the season. I'm already thinking about how good that handle of Jim Beam we buy is gonna taste.
Same Game Parlay (+575)
Breece Hall over 66.5 rushing yards ✅
Joe Mixon over 82.5 rushing yards ✅
C.J. Stroud over 9.5 rushing yards ✅
✅ Won $575.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!