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NFL 3rd Quarter Season Recap

Writer's picture: Ill & OddIll & Odd
Were we right about anything? Let's check in on our over/under picks, rookie quarterback rankings, and the predictions we made back in September!
my gift to man

We're about three quarters of the way through the NFL season. Although the 17-game schedule makes math a lot harder than it should be. Did anyone really want this? Can we just go back to 16 games and things being evenly divisible? It's agitating my OCD. Anyway, here's some stuff we said before the year started and the predictions we made after Week 9. Let's see how wrong we were!


Editor's Note: This is a couple days late because we have jobs and kids. Just pretend we hadn't watched Week 15 yet.


NFC East

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt (4-0)
Kirk (2-2)

Cowboys — 10.5 wins Pace: 6.5 wins

Under Won!

Over Lost!

Giants — 6.5 wins Pace: 2.6 wins

Under Won!

Under Won!

Eagles — 10.5 wins Pace: 14.4 wins

Over Won!

Under Lost!

Commanders — 6.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Over Won!

Over Won!

Best Bet

Matt: Eagles over (Won!)

Nice. I hit my best bet and went 4-0 in the division!


Kirk: Commanders over (Won!)

Glad this hit early as each week I watch this team I like them less. Well, I'll like them plenty if they don't biff it so I can bet against them in the playoffs. I still need a team to replace the Matt Schaub Texans in my gambling heart.




NFC North

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Bears — 8.5 wins Pace: 5.2 wins

Over Lost!

Under Won!

Lions — 10.5 wins Pace: 15.7 wins

Over Won!

Over Won!

Packers — 9.5 wins Pace: 11.8 wins

Over Looking good!

Over Looking good!

Vikings — 7.5 wins Pace: 14.4 wins

Under Lost!

Under Lost!

Best Bet

Matt: Vikings under (Lost!)

Oof. Sam Darnold giveth and Sam Darnold taketh away.


Kirk: Lions over (Won!)


NFC South

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Falcons — 9.5 wins Pace: 7.8 wins

Over Looking bad!

Over Looking bad!

Panthers — 5.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Over Looking bad!

Under Looking good!

Saints — 7.5 wins Pace: 6.5 wins

Under Looking good!

Over Looking bad!

Buccaneers — 7.5 wins Pace: 9.1 wins

Under Looking bad!

Over Looking good!

Best Bet

Matt: Falcons over (Looking bad!)

Kirk is washed. Cousins. Not McCready.


Kirk: Panthers under (Looking good!)

Panthers suck! The league figured them out, make them a home favorite for the first time in 34 games and they turn back into a pumpkin.


NFC West

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Cardinals — 7.5 wins Pace: 7.8 wins

Under Looking bad!

Over Looking good!

Rams — 8.5 wins Pace: 9.1 wins

Over Looking good!

Over Looking good!

49ers — 11.5 wins Pace: 7.8 wins

Over Lost!

Under Won!

Seahawks — 7.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Under Lost!

Under Lost!

Best Bet

Matt: Cardinals under (Looking bad!)

They are pacing over, but trending in the right direction (for me... not for them... they look bad lately).


Kirk: Rams over (Looking good!)

Puka Nacua is the truth.


Other Predictions

Playoff Picture


After 14 Weeks

Matt's 2024 Picks
Kirk's 2024 Picks

Number 1 Seed

Lions

Eagles

Lions

Division Winners

Eagles Seahawks Buccaneers

49ers Packers Falcons

Cowboys Falcons Rams

Wild Cards

Vikings Packers Commanders

Lions Rams Bears

49ers Buccaneers Eagles

Recap: Matt's Three Predictions for Weeks 10-14

The Rams will climb into first place in the NFC West ❌

This didn't come to fruition... yet. But they are just 1 game behind the first place Seahawks. Their Week 18 matchup against Seattle might be for all the marbles.


The Bears lose by 3 scores on Thanksgiving ❌

No, but what actually happened was worse. Eberdoofus botched the endgame time management so bad that the Halas family dressed and roasted him immediately after.


The Eagles leapfrog the Commanders into first place ✅

The Commanders dropped three in a row before getting right in a blowout win against the Titans before their Week 14 bye. Meanwhile the Eagles have rattled off nine straight wins to take the lead in the NFC East.


Matt's Three Predictions for Weeks 15-18

Week 18's game between the Rams and the Seahawks will decide the NFC West

I think the Rams will go 2-1 and the Seahawks will go 1-2 over the next three weeks, setting up a win or go home scenario on Sunday Night Football on January 5th.


The Eagles will win out... but it won't matter

The Eagles have the Steelers, Commanders, Cowboys, and Giants (who they can beat even with their second-stringers) left on the schedule. But they'll need the Lions to drop two out of four to the Bills, Bears, 49ers, or Vikings, since Detroit owns all the tiebreakers.


The Bucs will host the Packers in the 3 vs. 6 wild card game

It probably requires the Bucs to win out if they want to leapfrog the NFC West winner to get the third seed. But if they upset the Chargers in Week 15, they can cruise past Cowboys, Panthers, and Saints.


Recap: Kirk's Three Predictions for Weeks 10-14

Baker Mayfield will lead the Bucs into playoff position ✅

I've covered it before but man, I have a strong man crush on Baker. Strong enough that some of my friends should start to get offended and question how hard my man crushes are for them by comparison. At least two of you should be mad.

Baker Mayfield Butt
1st image that comes up from "Baker Mayfield Butt" for some reason

The Bears will bench Caleb Williams ❌

The Bears didn't bench him, but the 49ers stomped his ass into the dirt. Sad!


The Eagles will fire Nick Sirianni ❌

Even though I'm an adult I find it hard to separate my hopes, dreams, and deepest desires with reality. The fucking Eagles keep winning and are keeping this fucking Joker around. WTF!!



Kirk's Three Predictions for Weeks 15-18

The Commanders will lose out

Now that I've gotten what I needed out of these yokels from the nations 'Capital' they can go ahead and do what they do best. This fanbase is much like the old Nazi at the end of the great film "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (my favorite). They think everything's gravy and they're about to sip from the waters of righteous God himself only for it to be the leaking poop water from FedEx field. You deserve this Commanders fans, mostly because your name is awful. I hate you! There's only one top shit in this cluster fuck of a division and it AINT YOU PAL.


Nick Sirianni will get fired
god dammit nick

The Bucs will win the NFC south

(please see above butt pic that someone sent me)


AFC East

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Bills — 10.5 wins Pace: 13.0 wins

Over Looking good!

Under Looking bad!

Dolphins — 9.5 wins Pace: 7.8 wins

Over Looking bad!

Under Looking good!

Patriots — 4.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Under Looking good!

Over Looking bad!

Jets — 9.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Under Won!

Over Lost!

Best Bet

Matt: Dolphins over (Looking bad!)

Next time they want to arrest someone outside the Dolphins' stadium, I hope it's Mike McDoofus and they lock him up for life.


Kirk: Bills under (Looking bad!)

Bills are on pace to be the largest fraud team in playoff history. I thought this under was for playoff wins this century. My mistake I didn't have my readers on me.


AFC North

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Ravens — 10.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Under Who knows!

Under Who knows!

Bengals — 10.5 wins Pace: 6.5 wins

Under Won!

Over Lost!

Browns — 8.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Over Lost!

Over Lost!

Steelers — 8.5 wins Pace: 13.0 wins

Over Won!

Under Lost!

Best Bet

Matt: Bengals under (Won!)

Eminem's "Till I Collapse" was about this defense. That's why Burrow died his hair like Slim.


Kirk: Bengals over (Lost!)

This team needs a new defensive coordinator and the ship will be righted. See ya next year Joe, you are a lot more fun to watch than some of these shit bags!


AFC South

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Texans — 9.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Over Looking good!

Under Looking bad!

Colts — 8.5 wins Pace: 7.8 wins

Over Looking bad!

Over Looking bad!

Jaguars — 8.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Under Won!

Under Won!

Titans — 6.5 wins Pace: 3.9 wins

Under Looking good!

Over Looking bad!

Best Bet

Matt: Colts over (Looking bad!)

They had a Week 14 bye and for some reason it feels like they haven't played in about a month. I guess we'll see how they do down the stretch. They need two wins and will be at the Broncos, home for the Titans, at the Giants, and home for the Jags. It could happen.


Kirk: Jaguars under (Won!)

Butters Pederson and Lank Lawrence locked this one down easily.


Man I'm really bad at picking AFC futures given the blood trail of bets I see above me.


AFC West

Over/Under Picks

Team
Matt
Kirk

Broncos — 5.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Under Lost!

Under Lost!

Chiefs — 11.5 wins Pace: 15.7 wins

Over Won!

Under Lost!

Raiders — 6.5 wins Pace: 2.6 wins

Over Lost!

Over Lost!

Chargers — 8.5 wins Pace: 10.5 wins

Under Looking bad!

Over Looking good!

Best Bet

Matt: Raiders over (Lost!)

Antonio Pierce is gonna have to pay off the loan sharks and go back to working at a car dealership. Sad.


Kirk: Raiders over (Lost!)

Man I fucking stink at this!


Other Predictions

Playoff Picture


After 14 Weeks
Matt's 2024 Picks
Kirk's 2024 Picks

Number 1 Seed

Chiefs

Chiefs

Bengals

Division Winners

Bills Steelers Texans

Bills Browns Colts

  Jets Colts Chargers

Wild Cards

Ravens Chargers Broncos

Texans Dolphins Raiders

 Chiefs Bills Ravens

Recap: Matt's Three Predictions for Weeks 10-14

The Chiefs suffer their first loss ✅

They did lose to the Bills, but have seemingly done voodoo to win like three other games.


The Jets become relevant again by going 4-0 over this stretch ❌

They went 0-4. Lol.


Mac Jones resurrects his career by upsetting either the Lions or Texans ❌

This looked hilariously wrong when he lost by FORTY SIX to the Lions, but then he nearly pulled it off in a 3-point loss to the Texans. Still wrong and not nearly a career resurrection. He did finally get a win (10-9 over the Titans, but still...)


Matt's Three Predictions for Weeks 15-18

The Colts beat the Broncos in Week 15 en route to a playoff bid

NFL.com says that the Colts playoff probability will jump from 26% to 55% with a win over the Broncos. So you're saying there's a chance?!


The Raiders suck worse than the Giants down the stretch and get the first pick

The Giants can't do anything right, and that includes tank. Both of these stanky teams are sitting at 2 wins and they'll likely stay that way. The tiebreaker advantage currently belongs to the Giants — who have played the easier schedule so far — but is projected to switch to the Raiders, whose opponents' winning percentage is slightly lower when accounting for all 17 games.


The Chiefs won't cover again for the rest of the year

They've already failed to cover 7 weeks in a row. They're only the 21st team to do that since 2000. The 20 other teams went 18-129 straight up (.122). The Chiefs? They went 6-1 straight up (.857). What up Taranis?


Recap: Kirk's Three Predictions for Weeks 10-14

The Bills go unbeaten to take an insurmountable lead in the AFC East 😐

They rattled off a 7 game win streak before dropping a chaotic game to the Rams in which Josh Allen ran for 3 TD's and threw for 3 more. They have a four-game lead in the division. This came mostly true.


The Raiders, Jags, Bengals, and Dolphins will all fire their head coaches ❌

Inexcusable ownership mismanagement is afoot.


Aaron Rodgers will keep throwing his team under the bus and then retire before the season is over and take a place in the new administration as lead asshole in charge of smugness 😐

I may have said this within the wrong range of time but Matt is allowing it to play out for the next few weeks as we both think the prophecy could be fulfilled. Thanks Matt! Friendship saved!


Kirk's Three Predictions for Weeks 15-18

The Chargers will go 1-3 down the stretch and Jim Harbutt will look like an ass

To be fair I thought this before the Chargers lost to the Bucs on Sunday and Herbert took another injury! I wanted to bet the Bucs due to my love of Baker and hatred of the Harbutts but since Matt took them as part of his parlay I didn't want him getting all aggro with me for copying his bets. Last time he got bent out of shape, one of us, who will remain unnamed, shit in the other's driveway.


The Ravens will mount the comeback and reclaim the AFC North

You may be saying, wow Kirk, hard take with the Steelers dealing with an injury to their most explosive playmaker on offense, and now defense. You may be saying that.


Jameis Winston will retire after the season and become a motivational youth speaker
crazed jameis winston
GOD IS GOOD

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