Oddball: Week 14 NFL Bets

Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.

Whoa boy. Your favorite degenerates come to you this week on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Kirk cleaned up over the Thanksgiving holiday, cashing for over $700 and jumping firmly into the lead. Matt completely crashed out and briefly contemplated deleting this website from the internet. Things are not looking good for our resident vodka soda connoisseur, but he'll certainly do his best to have a respectable showing as we head down the home stretch of the 2025 season.

Our rules are simple:

• Each of us gets $100 to bet every week.

• We must bet the entire $100.

• Picks go up Thursday, recaps on Tuesday.

• Only bets that resolve that week (no futures).

• Loser does the TB12 diet for a week

Any weekly profit can be banked and rolled forward. Any portion of the $100 you don’t lose stays in your total, but you can’t reuse it.

Now that the rules preamble is over, can you pass the gravy?

Matt's Picks

$100.00 available to bet this week -$75.00 last week -$216.76 for the season

Greetings, oddballs. My picks come to you this week from a work trip in Scottsdale, Arizona, where I'm hoping some desert sunshine can bleach the stink off of my picks. I don't have a ton of time to wax poetic about offensive line matchups and injury reports. So I'll jump right into it. These are desperate times, so I need to shoot my shot.

It'd Be Cool if I Could Win a Parlay (+719)

Seahawks ML Ravens ML Broncos ML Rams ML Browns ML Jaguars ML

Seahawks — One of the best teams in the NFL despite a shaky quarterback situation. The Seahawks generate a ton of pressure, which will be a big problem for Old Man Cousins who can't move. Ravens — Despite all of the awful play from this team so far, they are still in poll position to win the destitute AFC North. The Steelers looked absolutely cooked on Sunday, Tomlin and Rodgers are ready to ride off into the sunset. Broncos — Bo Nix is pretty all over the place, but he's 15-0 straight up as a favorite. All we need is a win against the rudderless Raiders. Yes, it's a road favorite in a division game which is usually a red flag... but not when it's against Geno Smith. Rams — Good teams bounce back from bad losses. The Rams are a good team. Losing to the Panthers as double-digit favorites is a bad loss. I expect to see Matthew Stafford right the ship and Los Angeles to cruise over the clown show Cardinals (still haven't forgiven them for losing to the Titans). Browns — Speaking of the Titans, they'll be heading to Cleveland to play one of the best defenses in football. Best of luck to Cam Ward, but this is a nightmare matchup. I'd love to see the Titans win for no reason and propel the Giants to the top of the draft board, but I don't think it's happening.

Jaguars — The Colts feel like they are in major jeopardy of losing the division. As a Giants fan, I've seen what a compromised Daniel Jones looks like at quarterback. It's not good. And now he's trying to play with a fractured fibula? Give me "Lank" Lawrence in the loser leaves town match.

💰$100.00 to win $719.29

Kirk's Picks

$805.01 available to bet this week +$705.01 last week +$546.68 for the season

Wait? What's my total for the year?

Oh, shit back in black! Positive vibes have been rewarded.

Let's Get Spooky (Attempt Deux) (-115)

Ravens -5.5

Lamar looked the absolute worst he's ever looked last week. No where to go but up! (especially against in division rival and old man Rodgers). Ravens coming off 10 days' rest and the division lead at home, I'll lay the points.

💰$300.00 to win $260.87

Kitties Got Claws Bet (+624)

Bengals +5.5, Jags +1.5, Bears +6.5

1. Joe Burrow. Swagger. It's all back, and boy do we miss seeing a competent QB. His mere presence seemed to make the defense give 2 halfs of a shit as they played great last week on Turkey day. I think they keep it close with a chance to steel in the Buff.

2. I hate the Jags and always lose when I bet on them. I'm due! And Daniel Jones apparently has a broken bone in his leg and looks slow. On top of a slide the last few games and an admittedly solid Jags offensive run.

3. My man crush on Bears HC Ben Johnson is not affecting me in a manner to not see clearly. The fact he went shirtless for free hot dogs for the city of Chicago also has nothing to do with this. Totally not. I like the dogs and they treated me well last week.

💰$100.00 to win $624.18

I'll Take Those Over Easy (+595)

Steelers @ Ravens Over 43.5, Colts @ Jags Over 46.5, Bears @ Packers Over 44.5

💰$100.00 to win $595.03

Another Bird Team I Can Bet On (-115)

Seahawks -6.5

This lined moved under 7! How! Kirk Cousins is out there looking like a statue and the Falcons want him to get rammed over like that one in Home Alone that the pizza guy keeps running over. In this case, I don't think Kirk bounces back up.

💰$250.00 to win $217.39

4 Random Games I Picked As I Was Running Out Of Ideas And Had Too Much Money This Week (+1202)

Browns -3.5, Broncos -7.5, Rams -8.5, Texans +3.5

💰$55.01 to win $661.58

Bonus Bet

$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$829.86 for the season

Note: Not part of the weekly totals. This is a brotherhood bet, a ritual sacrifice to Taranis so he doesn't smite us both.

Matt is letting the red hot hands of Mr. McCready pick this week. Can his luck extend to the frozen depths of our Bonus Bet segment? Let's find out!

Supporting An In Division Opponent Never Goes Wrong (+335)

• Dallas +3.5

• George Pickens Anytime Touchdown

• Dak Attack +250 Passing Yards

💰 $100.00 to win $335.58

Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!