Oddball: Week 7 NFL Bets

Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.

Matt will try to win more than $1 and Kirk will try not to get his car repossessed in this week's Oddball installment.

Our rules are simple:

• Each of us gets $100 to bet every week.

• We must bet the entire $100.

• Picks go up Thursday, recaps on Tuesday.

• Only bets that resolve that week (no futures).

• Loser does the TB12 diet for a week

Any weekly profit can be banked and rolled forward. Any portion of the $100 you don’t lose stays in your total, but you can’t reuse it.

Now that the rules preamble is over, let’s get to the picks — and see how dark things can get down there.

Matt's Picks

$179.95 available to bet this week +$79.95 last week +51.50 for the season

Despite this site's overwhelming popularity, I still need a day job. And this week is pretty crazy with work travel. So my picks are going to be shorter than Uncle Jack's temper. We'll be back to my usually verbose updates in Week 8.

Browns (-2.5)

Straight Up ATS (-115)

• Dolphins can't block or coach.

• Browns pass rush is good.

• Long day for Tua.

💰$46.00 to win $40.00

Patriots (-7.0)

Straight Up ATS (-110)

• New coach bounce only matters when you're team is competent

• Drake Maye is feeling it

• Vrabel revenge game means they will run up the score

💰$44.00 to win $40.00

Giants (+7.0)

Straight Up ATS (-110)

• Dart is better than Nix

• Gonna keep betting Skattebo til his head falls off

• Broncos just got back from London (where they barely beat the Jets)

💰$44.00 to win $40.00

Lions (-5.5)

Straight Up ATS (-114)

• Goff is cover machine at home

• Baker is still Baker... regression coming?

• I liked Amon Ra's blue hair in that receiver doc

💰$44.95 to win $40.00

Kirk's Picks

$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$400.00 for the season

What the fuck is this? Matt's always the one to put in full/actual/any effort into this totally alive website with his girthy paragraphs of picks. I'm the fucking asshole who gets to benefit and jump from the top rope with shenanigans.

And what's worse, he actually has money to play with so he spreads it around this week and it'll be impossible to make up any real ground as we share a pick. And again, he didn't even give effort for the first time in 2.5 years and he still managed to hit all my talking points! Why am I even typing still! This is all a bunch of horse!

Patriots (-7)

Straight Up ATS (-110)

So instead of copying verbatim what Matt has already gone over I'll actually contribute something to productive.

As clearly my advice in gambling matters means nothing, I'm going to pivot this week to reviewing products I actually use and like.

In an attempt to turn my slushified brain back into some semblance of a solid I've actively trying to read more books again.

I have many barriers standing in between me and that goal. Procrastination, work, family, booze, man there really is a long list of why not to.

And the final barrier, wanting to get off my phone at bedtime but not wanting to stare at the ceiling and have the dark thoughts creep in.

Enter the Gritin LED light. A delightfully 'light' weight reading lamp that affixes directly to your book of choice. I've actually starting reading again. 5 stars. It's so affordable you can dump hundreds (not thousands, definitely not thousands) of dollars away on football bets and still pick up one of these bad boys.

(really if I'm being honest my son was getting to close for comfort in passing me in his reading level and I need to win at something in my life right now)

💰$100.00 to win $90.91

Bonus Bet

$100.00 available to bet this week -$100.00 last week -$500.00 for the season

Note: Not part of the weekly totals. This is a brotherhood bet, a ritual sacrifice to Taranis so he doesn't smite us both.

Let's give this another try, shall we? Time to summon the positivity. Time to believe.

Same Game Parlay (+270)

• Bengals +5.5

• Ja'Marr Chase ATS

💰 $100.00 to win $270.14

Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!