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2025 NFL Season Preview: AFC East
- Matt Talmage
- 7 days ago
- 7 min read
Last year, the Bills steamrolled everyone. But this year, the Patriots have potential, the Dolphins are "healthy-ish", and the Jets... well, never mind about the Jets.
Miami Dolphins
Highlight From Last Season
Week 14's overtime win against the Jets is up there. But it has to be Tyreek Hill getting detained by police on his way to the Dolphins' Week 1 game, catching an 80-yard touchdown a couple hours later, and hitting the handcuff celly in the end zone.
Lowlight From Last Season
It was basically all downhill following their Week 1 win against the Jaguars. In Week 2, they got boat raced by the Bills and Tua picked up his 87th concussion of the decade, sending the Dolphins down a 1-6 death spiral into November that saw the door slam on the playoffs before it ever really opened.
Biggest Offseason Storyline
Other than the constant questions about Tua’s long-term health — and the way my stomach churns Chipotle-style every time he drops back behind that porous offensive line, it's all positive vibes in South Beach.
Just kidding!
Tyreek Hill spent the spring demanding a trade and dangling his daughter over a balcony, making everyone suddenly nostalgic for the sensible stability of Antonio Brown. And then there’s Mike McDaniel, who still shows up dressed like a talent agent who DM'ed you on SoundCloud, smirking through pressers like he’s in a Silicon Valley boardroom. Hey Mike, how about we swap the sunglasses for, I don’t know, winning a playoff game? Your schtick is very mildly entertaining when you’re 12-5. But when your QB can’t tie his shoes without entering concussion protocol and your team can't sniff the Divisional Round, the whole act feels less “McGenius” and more “McDoofus.”
QB Situation
Tua Tagovailoa, Zach Wilson, Quinn Ewers
Let me go on the record: I DO NOT want to watch Zach Wilson. I like football to be fun. I like my Sundays filled with touchdowns, not head trauma. I don’t root for injuries, and I don’t want to see Miami’s absurd collection of speed weapons rotting like forgotten Publix subs in the South Florida sun. But seriously, what earthly reason does anyone have for believing we’re getting a full 17 games out of Tua? Until he proves it, I’m selling Dolphins stock faster than a garden level condo in a hurricane zone.
2025 Prediction | Under 8.5 wins
You’ve got a doofus head coach cosplaying as a 70’s porn director, a quarterback with more concussions than memorable big game moments, and an enigmatic wide receiver on the wrong side of 30 who spends equal time on TMZ as he does in the end zone. It’s sad, because when this offense was humming back in early 2023, it looked like the future of football. Now this team looks like listening to Pitbull feels. You can have your white jeans and your bottle service. I’ll take the under and sleep just fine.
Buffalo Bills
Highlight From Last Season
The Bills were a dominant team all year, especially at home. They went 10-0 in Orchard Park, including two postseason wins over the Broncos and Ravens. Here's Josh Allen putting the dagger in the Chiefs' undefeated regular season with an incredible rushing touchdown.
Lowlight From Last Season
Bungling their late-game clock management cost them their Week 5 game against the Texans and caused a lot of head scratching about Sean McDermott. But then they rattled off 7 straight wins and shut up the doubters. The worst moment of the season came at the hands of the Chiefs in the AFC Championship game. With the game on the line, Allen took a huge hit on fourth down and couldn't complete a desperate pass to keep the dream alive. Man, Josh must really, really hate the Chiefs.
Offseason Storyline
Well it's not September 11th yet, so Sean McDermott hasn't made any questionable motivational speeches. But when they weren't busy getting whooped by my Giants in the pre-season, the Bills have been in the conversation mostly because they've been featured on Hard Knocks. James Cook held out for a while, but ultimately signed. Jimmy Ciarlo has also been a fun Cinderella story. The former Army team captain has been featured in the show after tearing his ACL at Jets training camp last summer, rehabbing, and getting called off his couch by the Bills during the first week in August.
QB Situation
Josh Allen, Mitchell Trubisky, Mike White, Shane Buechele
If you like entertaining football, then you're hoping the depth chart doesn't factor into the Buffalo Bill's 2025 campaign. Josh Allen is arguably the league's best quarterback who typically looks completely unstoppable as long as he's not facing off against the Chiefs in January. Will this be the year he gets over the Ma-hump in the road?
2025 Prediction | Over 11.5 wins
They won 13 times and took their division by a full 5 games last year. I'm bullish on them to do it again. The case isn't that hard to make. They've been one of the five best teams in football in the 2020's and Josh Allen is a cheat code.
New England Patriots
Highlight From Last Season
Listen, there weren't many of them during a 4-13 season. But I would argue having Drake Maye make his debut, start 12 games, and look very competent at quarterback is the only highlight that should matter to Patriots fans. For a team with no Super Bowl aspirations, affirming that their first round arm was a solid pick constituted a successful 2024 campaign. Here's his first of probably many touchdown passes.
Lowlight From Last Season
Joe Milton coming in and winning a meaningless Week 18 game against the Bills' backups to screw up his own team's draft position was not ideal. Neither was the entire Jerod Mayo experiment.
Offseason Storyline
Mike Vrabel comes in at head coach, replacing a clueless Jerod Mayo with actual football acumen and identity. They also drafted Will Campbell at No. 4 overall to give Drake Maye some more protection, and added standout Ohio State running back TreVeyon Henderson with the 38th pick. Needless to say, there are a lot of guys named Sully who are wicked amped about this roster. They've been crushing Dunkaccinos and reserving duck boats all summer.
QB Situation
Drake Maye, Joshua Dobbs
Drake Maye was one of the lone bright spots on an entirely lousy 2024 squad. He showed a lot of potential, sure. But let's maybe tap the breaks a little bit? There seems to be an awful lot of hype for a kid who is 3-10, with 15 touchdowns and 15 turnovers.
2025 Prediction | Over 8.5 wins
Well I can't fade their division rivals, the Jets and Dolphins, any harder. And somebody has to win those games. So I guess I'll take the over here, but not by much. This team is still a work in progress, but having an adult at head coach and an actual team identity again will be a huge step in the right direction. Henderson has looked great in the backfield and it seems like Drake Maye is a bonafide NFL quarterback. So the pieces are there for them to grab a few upsets.
New York Jets
Highlight From Last Season
ay yo what up ill fools, it’s ya boy tyrod, somehow hangin on for another season like grey's anatomy. summer’s windin down and ya boy is depressed cuz netflix ain’t droppin another poop cruise until 2026. that episode was a CLASSIC trainwreck, like joe namath beggin to kiss suzy kolber. anyway, last season in the meadowlands felt like that cruise — turd on the sundeck, seagulls circlin, port of bayonne waftin questionable aromas into all the staterooms. but it wasn't all bad — ya boy did sneak in 2 touchdowns in week 16 mop-up duty. that’s right, tyrod’s statline is stayin fresher than a new sleeve in altered carbon.
Lowlight From Last Season
watchin talmage pick lousy underdogs on the moneyline week after week was pretty ugly. fanduel was killin him worse than frankie from flatbush bashin aaron every monday mornin on the fan. ay yo matty t, try to pick some winners this year okay? tyrod don't wanna see you goin broke like the american pie dad in schitt's creek. although we did have some crazy motel parties on our super bowl trip in february, huh? we'll have to see if aaron's got a new connect for toad venom up in pittsburgh yet.
Offseason Storyline
justin fields put a scare into ol tyrod gettin carted off the field durin trainin camp. it was lookin like ya boy was gonna have to put the ol microsoft surface away for a few weeks and start some games. thankfully it was just a stubbed toe for the j-dawg. tyrod woulda been pissed if he had to go another month without catchin up on the new south park episodes. y'all know ya boy likes to be a part of the political discourse.
QB Situation
Justin Fields, Tyrod Taylor, Brady Cook
please light a candle at the shrine of taranis so j-dawg stays upright. otherwise it’s tyrod or this brady kid. and lemme tell you — ya boy already loves the brady bunch. alice in that kitchen lookin like she can season up a pork chop that’ll fix ya electrolytes mid-game. greg was always kind of a bitch though.
2025 Prediction | Under 9.5 wins
to be honest, nothin that special's goin on here. justin's still fast as fuck, but he keeps chuckin the ball into the first row of seats like he's doin a tim tebow impersonation. it's like when everyone kept tellin tyrod he HAD to watch the huntin wives because two skinny blondes decide to start drivin the ol bedtime subaru with each other. it left ya boy feelin a little turgid, but it was no black swan. same goes for our offense this year. decent vibes, mildly interestin, no real climax.
