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Kirk and Matt get $100 each per week and go head-to-head to see who can light the most money on fire betting the NFL this season.
Welcome back to another season of Oddball! Our weekly NFL gambling competition. The rules are simple:
We each get $100 to make NFL bets every week.
We must bet the entire $100.
We'll post our picks every Thursday and recap how we did every Tuesday.
We can only bet on stuff that will be resolved during the week (no futures).
Loser must drive to the State Diner in Ithaca, NY and eat a bowl of chicken and rice soup alone.
Any profit you make in a given week can be banked and used later. Any portion of the $100 that you don't lose, cannot be used later but does count towards your overall total for the season.
Now that the rules preamble is over, let's get these picks over with so we can go back to collecting our reward money from McDonald's.
Matt's Picks
$100.00 available to bet this week -$45.00 last week -$123.52 for the season
Even the podcast world is taking notice of my upcoming trip.
I Don't Want to Go to Ithaca Moneyline Parlay (+440)
Ravens Commanders Bucs Packers
I know everyone wants a teaser, a couple of straight up spread bets, and an underdog moneyline to win or lose $23 at a time. Unfortunately, I have a (checks notes) $985 deficit to make up and only four weeks to do it. I have to take a bit of a shot, so here we go.
Ravens: Is it kind of crazy for a slightly above average team to be 16-point favorites on the road? Yes. But is the Tommy DeVito / Brian Daboll tandem going to somehow outwit Lamar Jackson / John Harbaugh? No. This gives us a few extra dollars of value so let's throw it in as a sweetener.
Commanders: They've essentially had two weeks off. They cruised to victory over the Titans in Week 13 and had a bye in Week 14. Now they'll be at home against the Saints, who will be starting fourth-string quarterback Jake Haener. This will be a spot where Washington reminds us why we loved them in the first half of the year.
Bucs: The one underdog in the parlay, making it a huge inflection point for whether I can make this contest interesting. Is it terrifying giving Baker Mayfield the keys to my car ride to Central New York? Yes. But I do think people are sleeping on the Bucs a bit and overrating the Chargers for their "almost win" against a mediocre Chiefs team.
Packers: The Packers, Lions, and Vikings are now a combined 27-3 against anyone outside of the NFC North. That's pretty impressive and leads me to believe that Green Bay is better than their 9-4 record indicates. I may not love Jordan Love, but I trust him a whole lot more than Geno Smith in an important game for playoff positioning.
💰 $100.00 to win $440.00
PS: Taranis, if you're reading this... please use the power of Ithaca's waterfall energy portals to disrupt Kirk's gambling luck. 🔮
Tyrod's Take
ay yo, what up ill crew? it's ya boy tyrod comin at ya this week from sunny jacksonville where my stanky-ass team is somehow favored again! thank the good lord above we only got four more weeks of this shit left. it feels like any day now aaron is gonna stop showin up to practice and i'm gonna have to push pause on my binge watch of the penguin and actually play some football. now that would be even more unfair than tossin sofia in arkham to rot. i bet aaron woulda done the same to coach saleh though.
irregardless, i know some of ya readers want to send ol' tyrod a present for the holidays, so i put together a little wish list for 'em. 'tis the season and what not.
bg reynolds natural tiki cocktail cane syrup, original orgeat
the bartender on my carnival cruise used this stuff to make my mai tais. been addicted ever since!
cleveland ketchup variety pack: classic, bacon bourbon, garlic dill, and ghost pepper
when i get home from a road trip, i always get a delicious takeout steak from ruth's chris. nothin goes better on a medium-well porterhouse than this stuff.
the wire, season 2 on dvd
y'all know this show is the goat. season 2 is maligned for introducin the polacks down at the docks. but the big thing is how it all fits together in the larger puzzle and shit.
crocs fur-lined blitzen slippers, jade tint in size 15
everybody knows tyrod's feet get cold when he's sittin on the bench at the meadowlands in december. plus, these do wonders for my plantar fasciitis.
amazon basics cardboard shippin and packin movin boxes, 10 pack
only 25 more days in jersey, fellas. gotta start packin up my crib.
the 1975, bein funny in a foreign language vinyl record
talmage got me into these cats and i can't stop shakin my ass to "happiness". i heard travis kelce got this guy's sloppy seconds.
microsoft surface mobile mouse, silver
sometimes my fingers get too cold to toggle between netflix shows on the touchscreen. i think this would be the perfect helpful accessory for ya tech-savvy readers.
the collected poems of dylan thomas, hardcover
and death shall have no dominion.
meundies, cotton trunks with fly, tropical print 3-pack, size xl
i need some new intimates and all my podcasts keep tellin me these are the shit. love the fun prints, they make me feel lighter.
hoobro foldin tv tray tables, set of 2
me and the missus can't wait for season 2 of severance. we'll be parked in front of the tv eatin all our meals and watchin what happens next to the innies.
Kirk's Picks
$544.39 available to bet this week +444.39 last week +$861.27 for the season
With me stringing a few winning weeks together Matt has already mentally conceded his position as to our end of year bet. I feel bad for my friend and as I cast my eyes on him, they're filled only with concern. No other emotion. None.
Now before we get to the picks my good sirs and madams, let me talk about my main philosophy when it comes to any contest of wills.
Always go for the throat, no matter the risk, in order to drive your opponents into questioning their own position in this world as you stomp them into the dirt. I say this as a reminder to some (Tom) who may question why I don't rest on the lead I have on Matt and just bet the minimum.
That is the antithesis to my very being. Ask anyone who's every played monopoly with me if I ever took my foot off the gas. It's not the winning that matters. It's the manner in which you own your opponent so fully and absolutely that they will never, EVER, forget it.
That opportunity is always worth the risk and can never be gained without it.
And now for the picks.
Bengals -4.5
Straight Up ATS (-120)
I'm sorry, I'm a bit confused. Why is this spread in the Vegas zone and not a TD or more? A few points are rattling around in my big dumb head as I attempt to know more.
I understand the Bengals defense sucks. Yes they are truly awful. But they can't, can't get any worse! It's not possible.
The Titans have good defense. They held the mighty Jaguars to 10 points last week. A true exhibition in holding one of the best QB's in the league in Mac Jones to just 10 points at home. A true statement game that shows they haven't given up yet. A really great moment in time that shows if this Titans team can believe in each other, the world is their oyster.
The Bengals offense is unstoppable.
The Titans QB is (insert white guy from Hallmark movie here who runs a Christmas tree farm and has a dog named 'Buck')
💰 $261.27 to win $217.73
Money line Parlay (-125)
Cardinals, Vikings
Patriots coach is a giant potato going against a previously embarrassed Cardinals team hungry to keep their playoff hopes alive. Also Pats are most likely playing for the draft to ensure they get a solid O lineman so their QB doesn't get destroyed.
Bears gonna bear. Now, having said that. Don't like the Vikings at -7 in a divisional game here so money line it is.
💰 $133.12 to win $107.05
Broncos -3.5
Straight Up ATS (-122)
💰 $150.00 to win $122.95
Bonus Bet
-$100.00 last week +$385.00 for the season
Kirk would like you to know that the Deebo portion of this bet is a spite pick.
(newsflash, we're posting this late because of Kirk and already lost)
Same Game Parlay (+700)
Kyren Williams any time touchdown scorer
Deebo Samuel any time touchdown scorer
Brock Purdy 225+ passing yards
George Kittle 5+ receptions
💰 $100.00 to win $700.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!