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Kirk claims the second annual Oddball Championship and sends Matt on a lonely ride to Ithaca where he can cry about his terrible teasers and pathetic parlays.
Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every week and try to outdo each other. The loser (Matt) has to drive to the State Diner in Ithaca, NY and eat a bowl of chicken and rice soup alone. Let's take a look at how we did this week! And stay tuned for Wild Card Weekend picks later this week...
Matt's Week 18 Recap
-$100.00 last week +$34.48 for the season
Last year I won $10.37, so honestly this year was an improvement. It just feels a lot worse because Kirk gave me a good old fashioned curb stomping in the standings. My love for disgusting underdogs really killed me this season, which was the 4th most profitable season for favorites in NFL history. I'll contemplate this during my long drive to Ithaca. Email your audiobook recommendations to matt@illandodd.com.
The Bengals Will Make the Playoffs Parlay (+1868)
Bengals ML Chiefs ML Jets ML
Holy smokes, the Chiefs really had no interest in lifting a finger, huh? The moneyline was always a bit of a stretch but I was kind of talking myself into them at +10.5 by kickoff. Boy was I wrong! I am now rooting for the Broncos to win this weekend so that they'll play the Chiefs again. Maaaaybe it wasn't such a good idea for Sean Payton to be throwing for touchdowns when they were already up three scores against third stringers. I can tell by Andy Reid's mustache that he knows how to hold a grudge. It'll be fun to watch Mahomes & Co. get their revenge on Denver for running up the score.
❌ Lost $100.00
Kirk's Week 18 Recap
-$704.97 last week +$1,314.03 for the season
I lost for the first time in 7 weeks. But you know what?
Not driving to Ithaca is worth seven hundred.
Yeah, I'm thinking I'm going to be just fine.
We're Gonna Beat The Fuck Out Of These Guys Parlay (+627)
Ravens -17.5 ✅ Bucs -13.5❌ Packers -10.5❌
I'm officially banning myself from being the usual moron I am when it comes to week 18 gambling.
The rule book is thrown at the window when teams are suddenly tanking or shitting themselves at the finish line. I forgot that, and I am a moron.
As a consolation prize, I look forward to all the teams above losing in the playoffs. Well, maybe not the Ravens immediately. I'd prefer if Lamar made it to the Superbowl before choking this year.
Because he'd be totally playing against the Eagles. I mean, Eagles are the most consistently coached team in football. There's definitely coaching there.
STOP PANICKING
❌ Lost $100.00
Make Me Rich (+20000)
Correct Score, Chargers 20 - Raiders 3 ❌
❌ Lost $100.00
Let's Have Some Fun (+267)
Giants/Eagles Over 37.5 ❌ Bills/Patriots Over 37.5 ✅
Even though the consolation of Matt losing this year to avoid an 0-2 hole lifetime in our Oddball competition offset some of the pain, this one still hurt.
I knew the Bills were going to a bit feisty with a team TD record to chase, and I knew the Patriots were trying to put some performances on tape for next year. Jerod Mayo also can claim a victory over the Bills on his short ass resume, so he's got that going for him.
Which leads me to the Eagles. I'm not even going to blame NY and Drew Lock for turning back into a big fucking pumpkin after eviscerating Matt's comeback last week. There is an irony here for when looking at my current financial losses this week but let's not focus on that.
I think I have lost every single wager I've placed on the Birds. Ever. In my lifetime, ML, spread, overs, unders, player TD props, every fucking thing! Why do I do this? I say again, am I a fucking moron?!?
The answer is definitely yes. But the answer is also that Nick Sirianni is out to personally fuck me out of my bets. I have a strong lead that he is in fact one of our dozens of readers. Rigging games is illegal you fuck! Stop taking things so personally! I only called for your firing publicly and vehemently!*
Grow up Nick. Focus on the playoffs.
Go Birds.
*For our Bostonian readers:
❌ Lost $507.97
Week 18 Bonus Bet Recap
-$85.00 last week +$0.00 for the season
WE DID IT! WE DID IIIITTTT!!!!!!!! ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Player Prop Parlay (+516)
Mike Evans over 99.5 receiving yards ✅
Courtland Sutton over 73.5 receiving yards ✅
Geno Smith over 245.5 passing yards ❌
❌ Lost $85.00
Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!