Oddball: Week 4 Recap

The Jaxson Dart era has begun. Maybe Kirk's comeback has too! Matt had a sports meltdown this weekend as basically everything under the sun went wrong.

Oddball is our weekly NFL gambling competition where we each get $100 every weekend and try to outdo each other. The loser has to do the TB12 diet for a week. Let's see how we did in Week 4.

Matt's Picks

$134.69 wagered -$134.69 lost -37.07 for the season

Honestly, I don't know what the hell I was doing with my Week 4 picks. I hate picking favorites and I never do props. Why did I load up on both? I must have taken too much Tylenol. And speaking of pain, the New York Mets are insufferable. I'm never going to see them win a World Series, am I? The fact that this collapse is only like the fourth-most angry I've been at them after Game 162 is really saying something. Sports is misery. Maybe I need to take up knitting or something.

Moneyline Parlay (+184)

Bills Texans Chargers Packers Broncos

There are a few silver linings to losing this bet. First, I don't need to ask ChatGPT what happens when one of the teams in your moneyline parlay kicks a last-second field goal to squeak out a tie. Second, I don't need to watch Bo Nix duke it out with Jake Browning on Monday Night. And third, the Giants have an exciting quarterback who actually fucking WON A GAME!

The Giants were clinging to their parlay-busting upset victory over the Chargers at the same time the Mets were haplessly getting shutout by the Marlins in a must-win game. My heart wasn't sure what to do with any of the stimuli. I was excited for Dart, ashamed for betting against my team, furious at another one of my teams, heartbroken that the Dart/Nabers connection lasted for exactly two catches, slightly nauseous from the overly abundant buffalo chicken wrap I ate for lunch, all while being forced to watch games on my iPad and phone because my daughters NEEDED to watch Gabby's Dollhouse during the 3:30-4:15 Red Zone witching hour.

By 4:45 I was ready for bed. But instead, I chased my losses by wagering on the Packers -6.5 who then promptly forgot how to play any kind of defense whatsoever and forced me to stay up until 12:30 just to tie. I hope Hammermill Love and company go 2-1-14.

I'm miserable over here!

❌ Lost $100.00

Same Game Parlay (+1602)

Jaxson Dart 250+ Passing Yards

Jaxson Dart 3+ Passing Touchdowns

Without looking, can you guess how many passing yards Jaxson Dart had?

111 yards.

Haha, my fellow Giants fans are so starved for anything positive, we are shitting ourselves over a 111-yard performance. Thank god Eric Adams has suspended his campaign. The next mayor of New York just upset Justin Herbert and the Chargers in his first career start!

❌ Lost $4.69

Dublin Dud (+148)

No Touchdowns in the 1st Quarter

The only thing more fun than losing your first bet at 9:45 in the morning is when backup running back Kenneth Gainwell is the one to twist the knife with just 55 seconds left in the quarter. It was a torturous start to a day full of dreadful moments. I need a Guinness!

❌ Lost $30.00

Kirk's Picks

$100.00 wagered +$87.24 won -$112.76 for the season

Not great, but hey,

Please Run To Save Me Parlay (+767)

Jahmyr Gibbs ATD✅ Bucky Irving ATD✅ Omarion Hampton ATD✅ Jonathan Taylor ATD❌

Of course, it's the one guy who had -190 odds to score a TD who blows it in the later afternoon slot!

Now I bet parlays enough to not get all Butt Hurt when they miss but as we covered, I'm also a moron or I would have remembered my rule. Place all your parlay's within the same time slots! That way win or lose it's all over at once and there's too many fucking games going on at once to get invested either way!

I forgot that fact and destroyed my karma by texting Matt saying the bet was live when 3 of them hit in the early round.

I am an asshole.

(additional assholes alert: the colts coaching staff also gave it to their TE Tyler Warren to rush it in for a TD at the 2 instead of Taylor, what the fuck!)

❌ Lost $50.00

Revenge of the Butt (+274)

Giants +6.5 Chiefs +2.5

Hazzah! I'll take losing another bet if it means I'm now 50% on my parlay bets against the Harbutt brothers. I'll be sure to track the schedule moving forward for more spite parlay opportunities.

(not going to rehash it too much but the fact that the Giants not only covered but won outright to seal my victory and Matt's loss was fun)

✅ Won $137.24

Bonus Bet

$100.00 wagered -$100.00 lost -$400.00 for the season

Note: Not part of the weekly totals. This is a brotherhood bet, a ritual sacrifice to Taranis so he doesn't smite us both.

I was drinking a bit on Thursday to numb the existential dread, so when Marvin Harrison Jr. caught a 16-yard touchdown pass late in the game and followed it up with another 18-yard grab I TWICE thought we had cashed our first bonus bet of the season. Unfortunately, just like Malik Nabers, I don't know how to measure yards.

My wife might throw my laptop in the lake if we don't hit one of these soon. Pray to Taranis that things will turn around!

Same-Game Parlay (+205)

• Sam Darnold 200+ receiving yards✅

• Marvin Harrison Jr. to record a 20+ yard reception❌

• Trey McBride 5+ receptions✅

❌ Lost $100.00

Reminder to send your comments, questions, and general mockery to hello@illandodd.com and we'll respond if we feel like it!